The feeling is inexplicable... its something very different from what you read in novels and what they show in the movies. When the feeling of being "crushed" :P is experienced, its far more vivid and fresh than the vicarious idiot-box depictions of the same...
And it happened, after a long time. After a long time I found myself looking for someone in the crowd... I found myself wishing I could sneak out opportunities to talk to her, and when I did, I found myself fumbling... I found myself wanting to tell her that she was cute, that she was pretty, and yet, I couldn't. I know all this sounds cliched, but it happened, and now that I think of all this again while writing this blog, I find myself smiling :-)
I was impressed.. and knowing myself, I know that crushes to me happen rarely. Also, the often talked-about myth that "we-are-now-too-old-to-have-crushes" is broken! :-)
Not having had too many crushes in life, I thought this was something special, and deserved a mention on the blog :-)
Monday, December 24, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Weekend blues...
Writing after a real long time... and this is a blue one. Extended weekend - and plans are smashed. When it comes to plans, I am very fussy. And committed. Fussy because I just need an idee fixe. And then I can't let the idea for the plan die. For example, if I feel like going to Mumbai for the weekend, I would plan it out without bothering about work/cost/place of stay etc etc. And If something dare comes in the way of my personal plan, it is always the plan which gets the priority over no-matter-how-serious issues :)
However, this time, the very reason for making the plan has led to the plan being called off. The idea was to spend time with a close friend... whom I've not met for ages... whom I've been missing. "I hope you are coming" is what my friend messaged when I disclosed the plan. And while I'm making plans for all catching up on the lost time, for having long gupshup sessions and the party time, my friend calls it not possible.
Nothing can be more frustrating. A Plan killed and a weekend where u have nothing to do.
My friends tell me: Let go of the past. But I feel past should never be forgotten. Things that happened before can happen again. And if you don't learn from it, you are a big fool.
Probably I expect too much from life. Or from people of the past.
However, this time, the very reason for making the plan has led to the plan being called off. The idea was to spend time with a close friend... whom I've not met for ages... whom I've been missing. "I hope you are coming" is what my friend messaged when I disclosed the plan. And while I'm making plans for all catching up on the lost time, for having long gupshup sessions and the party time, my friend calls it not possible.
Nothing can be more frustrating. A Plan killed and a weekend where u have nothing to do.
My friends tell me: Let go of the past. But I feel past should never be forgotten. Things that happened before can happen again. And if you don't learn from it, you are a big fool.
Probably I expect too much from life. Or from people of the past.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
The stone rolled!
This post encompasses the thoughts that have been surrounding me for the last few eventful days....
WARNING: This one might be very incoherent!
At last, the wanderer moves out of the mysterious jungle to encroach into the city... and hopefully, for good. With all the frustration that has been surrounding me, regarding work, regarding the hygiene factors at Bhadra, dwindling chances of being relocated and the need to visit home frequently, this one really comes as a savior! Even though this is a professionally better jump, it has been triggered by the personal woes. And, personally, it can't get better than this. I am shifting to my home!
But, leaving Bhadraland is easy, leaving ITC isn't. It's a very fine company. Infact, one of the best in India to be associated with. According to me, ITC is what aggressive market moves is all about. ITC is what focussed vision is about. From a business which had 85% of its value presence with tobacco, just 10 years back, the company today has a completely transformed image of a multi-divisional, socially responsible and a nation-building organisation, reducing tobacco dependence to around 40%.
(The only Indian firm which makes me more dumbstruck is Reliance which created an INR 100,000 crore company launching the first CDMA phone in Dec 2002, 4 1/2 years back! To think of it, what ITC or HLL are yet to achieve in 100 years, Reliance did in less than 5 years :P)
I have a great respect for ITC, and not just respect, there's an emotional attachment. Afterall, its my first company, first love :-) I am in love with its brands. I think Aashirwad rocks over Pillsburry or Annapurna, Sunfeast Bourbon is more chocolaty than Britannia's, Wills Lifestyle has some amazing collection (even though it might seem snobbishly overpriced :P), John Players is a good affordable range, Classmate is the best quality notebooks I've seen in that price-segment, Spriha is a good product, and so are Minto fresh (I love the Laila Majnu ad), Candyman (the natkhat mango) and BINGO! They have come with some really innovative flavors. And Hotels! One MUST pay a visit to Sonar Bangla! It really gives a "Wow!" factor. And, DO NOT miss the Daal Bukhaara!
But, in the end, things happening down at the the shopfloor are way too different than what happens at Virginia House :-)
Change, the only permanent thing in life, again surrounds me. Even though the change is for a much better life ahead, its unsettling to begin with. Change from board to detergent, from contractors to suppliers, from Bhadrachalam to Bhopal, from Sambhar to Daal, from rice to rotis, from 6-day week to 5-day, from broadbanding to functional assignments, from an India-centric vision to Global markets... changes and more changes. And everything is happening too quick to let it sink in!
I am gonna miss ITC, sigma17 and Big B... post on the latter two is on its way!
Long way to go! I am buying ITC shares now... I hope with me leaving, there's a little plunge... and I'm gonna encash on it! ;-)
WARNING: This one might be very incoherent!
At last, the wanderer moves out of the mysterious jungle to encroach into the city... and hopefully, for good. With all the frustration that has been surrounding me, regarding work, regarding the hygiene factors at Bhadra, dwindling chances of being relocated and the need to visit home frequently, this one really comes as a savior! Even though this is a professionally better jump, it has been triggered by the personal woes. And, personally, it can't get better than this. I am shifting to my home!
But, leaving Bhadraland is easy, leaving ITC isn't. It's a very fine company. Infact, one of the best in India to be associated with. According to me, ITC is what aggressive market moves is all about. ITC is what focussed vision is about. From a business which had 85% of its value presence with tobacco, just 10 years back, the company today has a completely transformed image of a multi-divisional, socially responsible and a nation-building organisation, reducing tobacco dependence to around 40%.
(The only Indian firm which makes me more dumbstruck is Reliance which created an INR 100,000 crore company launching the first CDMA phone in Dec 2002, 4 1/2 years back! To think of it, what ITC or HLL are yet to achieve in 100 years, Reliance did in less than 5 years :P)
I have a great respect for ITC, and not just respect, there's an emotional attachment. Afterall, its my first company, first love :-) I am in love with its brands. I think Aashirwad rocks over Pillsburry or Annapurna, Sunfeast Bourbon is more chocolaty than Britannia's, Wills Lifestyle has some amazing collection (even though it might seem snobbishly overpriced :P), John Players is a good affordable range, Classmate is the best quality notebooks I've seen in that price-segment, Spriha is a good product, and so are Minto fresh (I love the Laila Majnu ad), Candyman (the natkhat mango) and BINGO! They have come with some really innovative flavors. And Hotels! One MUST pay a visit to Sonar Bangla! It really gives a "Wow!" factor. And, DO NOT miss the Daal Bukhaara!
But, in the end, things happening down at the the shopfloor are way too different than what happens at Virginia House :-)
Change, the only permanent thing in life, again surrounds me. Even though the change is for a much better life ahead, its unsettling to begin with. Change from board to detergent, from contractors to suppliers, from Bhadrachalam to Bhopal, from Sambhar to Daal, from rice to rotis, from 6-day week to 5-day, from broadbanding to functional assignments, from an India-centric vision to Global markets... changes and more changes. And everything is happening too quick to let it sink in!
I am gonna miss ITC, sigma17 and Big B... post on the latter two is on its way!
Long way to go! I am buying ITC shares now... I hope with me leaving, there's a little plunge... and I'm gonna encash on it! ;-)
Friday, June 29, 2007
Chal chale, apne ghar...
This one's for all those who've asked me how my visit home has been, and for my cousins who missed the event....
The wanderer had a much-awaited visit to his home recently. The occasion - Grandparents' 50th Wedding Anniversary! And that means - cousins, parties, masti, hungama and Good foooood!
For the uninformed, my family stays in Bhopal, and as a joint family comprising of 14 members. My grandparents, my dad and his two brothers with their families of two children each. I happen to be the eldest one in the third generation. The year 2007 is a memorable one for us for three reasons - after 34 years we shifted to a new house this April, this year is the centenary birth year of my late great grandfather, and 50th wedding anniversary of my grandparents.
Since it was a multiple occasion, a large number of relatives were expected at Jha Sadan (that's what our home is called). Altogether there were about 40 people coming from outside Bhopal. This, alongwith other relatives and close families in Bhopal made a total figure of 80 people for the event! And Jha Sadan was accomodating 65 of them at any given point of time! It felt none less than a marriage.
And the celebrations - they were as grand as they always happen at my place. Our family is notorious for its enthu for celebrations, and ofcourse Gujju-type-gourmet (yes, I happen to be a Gujju). The function was spread over three days:
Day1: Outstation relatives arrived. After their routine "kem cho"s, recent escapades, the "what-to-wear" discussion by ladies and "which-are-the-best-stocks" discussions by the gentlemen, we had a "Jha Re Ga Ma Pa" program in the evening. Everyone who had a remote talent in singing and/or dancing had prepared something for the evening. Although we have a complete orchestra team inhouse, dad insisted on hiring professionals! The program lasted a whopping 3 hours with 25 odd performances (songs/group songs/dances). Poor orchestra guy who had come with a singer just got one song to sing. And he finally left with a comment ki "aaj aap log ne entertain kiya, talented family hai!". The highlights - Palak's dance on "Barso re", Parth's awe-inspiring "Teri Deewani", Shlok-Shreya's "Tara rum pum", Anjali Kaki-SK kaka's dance on "Tere Bina" (Guru), the emotional scene after the sons sang "Ye to sach hai ki bhagwaan hai" for my Dada Dadi, and dance on "Jodi ye" (Guru) [directed by yours truly, who incidentally doesnt know how to dance :-)]
Day2: The day of Anniversary. In the morning we had the release of a book called "Kutumb", which was published in the memory of my Great Grandfather. It had articles, snippets, poems etc contributed by everyone in our family, and by few in our extended family. This was followed by a Bhopal Darshan for outstation relatives, in a "Toy Train"! :P Quite crazy I thought! The evening was a party and DJ at The Amer Greens. The "baraat", went to, and returned from the hotel in the same "Toy Train". My bro, who couldnt attend Day1 due to his exam at Indore, made a heroic entry in the party, and took out all the frustration of missing Day1 (and his exam) by his spellbound show on the floor, a dance which would have made Hrithik Roshan jealous!
Day3: A discourse by Swami Rituraj Maharaj, a well-known saint in the North at our place in the morning. As a matter of fact our family is religious too! :P Quite familiar with gyaan sessions in ITC, I felt its very easy to give a discourse. Just state the obvious! :D The families were one a departure from Day3 evening.
Going home has always been as happening for me. When there are 13 people awaiting you home (actually 21, both my buas also stay in Bhopal), you sure gonna have a party time once you are there, irrespective of occasions. Infact, I was ill-famed in college for running back home the next day after exams end. And that was there because I've always found home more happening! But lately, I've found my attachment to home increasing. This wasn't so in college. Now, after coming back from home, once the hangover is gone, its always depressing. Sadly I live too far and have too little leaves to be able to go home more often :-(
Anyways, good times end for better ones to come. Looking forward to the next opportunity to be there!
Pics of the event uploaded on http://picasaweb.google.com/jhamayank
The wanderer had a much-awaited visit to his home recently. The occasion - Grandparents' 50th Wedding Anniversary! And that means - cousins, parties, masti, hungama and Good foooood!
For the uninformed, my family stays in Bhopal, and as a joint family comprising of 14 members. My grandparents, my dad and his two brothers with their families of two children each. I happen to be the eldest one in the third generation. The year 2007 is a memorable one for us for three reasons - after 34 years we shifted to a new house this April, this year is the centenary birth year of my late great grandfather, and 50th wedding anniversary of my grandparents.
Since it was a multiple occasion, a large number of relatives were expected at Jha Sadan (that's what our home is called). Altogether there were about 40 people coming from outside Bhopal. This, alongwith other relatives and close families in Bhopal made a total figure of 80 people for the event! And Jha Sadan was accomodating 65 of them at any given point of time! It felt none less than a marriage.
And the celebrations - they were as grand as they always happen at my place. Our family is notorious for its enthu for celebrations, and ofcourse Gujju-type-gourmet (yes, I happen to be a Gujju). The function was spread over three days:
Day1: Outstation relatives arrived. After their routine "kem cho"s, recent escapades, the "what-to-wear" discussion by ladies and "which-are-the-best-stocks" discussions by the gentlemen, we had a "Jha Re Ga Ma Pa" program in the evening. Everyone who had a remote talent in singing and/or dancing had prepared something for the evening. Although we have a complete orchestra team inhouse, dad insisted on hiring professionals! The program lasted a whopping 3 hours with 25 odd performances (songs/group songs/dances). Poor orchestra guy who had come with a singer just got one song to sing. And he finally left with a comment ki "aaj aap log ne entertain kiya, talented family hai!". The highlights - Palak's dance on "Barso re", Parth's awe-inspiring "Teri Deewani", Shlok-Shreya's "Tara rum pum", Anjali Kaki-SK kaka's dance on "Tere Bina" (Guru), the emotional scene after the sons sang "Ye to sach hai ki bhagwaan hai" for my Dada Dadi, and dance on "Jodi ye" (Guru) [directed by yours truly, who incidentally doesnt know how to dance :-)]
Day2: The day of Anniversary. In the morning we had the release of a book called "Kutumb", which was published in the memory of my Great Grandfather. It had articles, snippets, poems etc contributed by everyone in our family, and by few in our extended family. This was followed by a Bhopal Darshan for outstation relatives, in a "Toy Train"! :P Quite crazy I thought! The evening was a party and DJ at The Amer Greens. The "baraat", went to, and returned from the hotel in the same "Toy Train". My bro, who couldnt attend Day1 due to his exam at Indore, made a heroic entry in the party, and took out all the frustration of missing Day1 (and his exam) by his spellbound show on the floor, a dance which would have made Hrithik Roshan jealous!
Day3: A discourse by Swami Rituraj Maharaj, a well-known saint in the North at our place in the morning. As a matter of fact our family is religious too! :P Quite familiar with gyaan sessions in ITC, I felt its very easy to give a discourse. Just state the obvious! :D The families were one a departure from Day3 evening.
Going home has always been as happening for me. When there are 13 people awaiting you home (actually 21, both my buas also stay in Bhopal), you sure gonna have a party time once you are there, irrespective of occasions. Infact, I was ill-famed in college for running back home the next day after exams end. And that was there because I've always found home more happening! But lately, I've found my attachment to home increasing. This wasn't so in college. Now, after coming back from home, once the hangover is gone, its always depressing. Sadly I live too far and have too little leaves to be able to go home more often :-(
Anyways, good times end for better ones to come. Looking forward to the next opportunity to be there!
Pics of the event uploaded on http://picasaweb.google.com/jhamayank
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
C'est la vie
Life's not fair at times, and I am not saying this with a reference to myself. Bad things happen to good people, and I don't understand why.
I am upset. One of my closest friends, she has not been in a settled state for quite sometime now. Death keeps passing by her, and its happening too often now. I've seen her thru thick and thin, but last few months are just unimaginable. She lost the cousin she was closest to, she lost two of her three pets (one of them yesterday), she lost a friend from college... all in a span of 6 months. I can keep consoling, and try to make her feel better, and tell her that "Such is life", but I know, this isn't fair.
I wish I could be present with her thru these, sadly I'm physically located far from where she is. But, at times I wonder, do I have the strength to face all this? One part is seeing someone close by go thru this pain, and I find that difficult, coz I really don't know how to deal with it, coz touchwood, I didn't have to lose people close to me yet. But the other, tougher and scarier part is, how would I deal with it if times like these come to me?
To this she says: "Mayank, life will teach you how to deal with it."
True. Life, and experience, is the best teacher of all. Sometimes the hard way, sometimes thru others' experiences, it teaches you how to deal with it. Experience is something one can't earn as a degree in a college, and ironically, the M. Exp. which the University of Life offers is the most coveted degree in any area you explore, professionally or personally.
We talk of heartbreaks, job dissatisfaction, academic failures, etc as "pains" in life that we are going thru, and end up cribbing : "Life Sucks!". And when I see life around me, I realise what "pain" life really has the potential to give. A mother losing a young son, a kid who's parents are filing a divorce, a couple not having a heir, an industrialist losing 95% of his property in business loss, parents being ignored by their "its-my-life" obsessed sons and having to reside in old-age homes, couple having a mentally-retarded child, murder of a brother over property - all real life examples around me!
Thank you god, for giving a relatively normal life to me. The pains in my life are insignificant. And I need to be prepared for more.
God bless u Brutus. I miss u.
I am upset. One of my closest friends, she has not been in a settled state for quite sometime now. Death keeps passing by her, and its happening too often now. I've seen her thru thick and thin, but last few months are just unimaginable. She lost the cousin she was closest to, she lost two of her three pets (one of them yesterday), she lost a friend from college... all in a span of 6 months. I can keep consoling, and try to make her feel better, and tell her that "Such is life", but I know, this isn't fair.
I wish I could be present with her thru these, sadly I'm physically located far from where she is. But, at times I wonder, do I have the strength to face all this? One part is seeing someone close by go thru this pain, and I find that difficult, coz I really don't know how to deal with it, coz touchwood, I didn't have to lose people close to me yet. But the other, tougher and scarier part is, how would I deal with it if times like these come to me?
To this she says: "Mayank, life will teach you how to deal with it."
True. Life, and experience, is the best teacher of all. Sometimes the hard way, sometimes thru others' experiences, it teaches you how to deal with it. Experience is something one can't earn as a degree in a college, and ironically, the M. Exp. which the University of Life offers is the most coveted degree in any area you explore, professionally or personally.
We talk of heartbreaks, job dissatisfaction, academic failures, etc as "pains" in life that we are going thru, and end up cribbing : "Life Sucks!". And when I see life around me, I realise what "pain" life really has the potential to give. A mother losing a young son, a kid who's parents are filing a divorce, a couple not having a heir, an industrialist losing 95% of his property in business loss, parents being ignored by their "its-my-life" obsessed sons and having to reside in old-age homes, couple having a mentally-retarded child, murder of a brother over property - all real life examples around me!
Thank you god, for giving a relatively normal life to me. The pains in my life are insignificant. And I need to be prepared for more.
God bless u Brutus. I miss u.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Down with Love
Am in love again! Someow the feeling was dormant for the last few months. And I realise that love doesn't die. It just needs a spark to revive.
The spark this time was Bandeh by Indian Ocean. I am writing this blog in a train, I have my headphones on, the song is being played repeatedly in Winamp, and my hands are alternating between guitar chords, bass movements, psuedo drumming and typing this blog out. And I realise that I'm getting weird looks from people around me :D
This song is a masterpiece. The best Indian Ocean has done yet, although I'd like to believe that their best isn't out yet. Sushmit's guitar riff has that rock feel to it, unlike his other traditional Indian-folk-ish riffs. The electric overdriven guitar is a supplement to the rock feel. Ram's bass use, as any other Indian ocean song, is mindblowing. Don't know how he manages vocals with the sexy bassline (reminds me of Knopfler). And although Amit hasn't used his signature unconventional, wierdo-cyclic drumbeats as he has done with Maa Reva or Bhor, he has complemented well with subtle-yet-amazing rolls. The way he uses crashes and the impact it creates is superb. And Asheem's Alaap! My god, these guys are some team!
Okay, coming to the non-technical part, the song is an APT-FIT for Black Friday. I soo wished that the song was used somewhere in the movie instead of the Title. This song is one which takes u to a different world. It has the kick. For those who haven't heard Indian Ocean, I would strongly recommend to atleast give an ear to Bandeh, Maa Reva, Kandissa, Bhor, Jhini, Hille le. Or even better, attend a concert! They play pretty often. And, if you know of IO concerts in your city, please inform me. I have attended one, and seems its not enough :)
For the last few days, I'm back into a retro. My playlist consists of the songs We've played as a band in the past. Maa Rewa/Bandeh/Dhoom/Maeri/But it rained/Mama Said/Fade to Black/Nothing else matters/Like a stone/Show me how to live/Day tripper/Zombie/I'm with you/Complicated/Losing my religion/Rape Me/Polly/Love Buzz/When did you sleep last night/Sultans of Swing/Jeremy/Even Flow/Black/Last Kiss/Stairway to Heaven/Californication/Killing in the name of/Times like these/Creep/About a girl/I am mine/Road tripping.... the list goes on!
Why does life always try to drag itself back to the past?? Now... playing these songs, I miss college, I miss my band, and I miss the SAC music room at IITB where we've spent sleepless nights to perfect songs. Although we never tried original compositions, but I'd say that we reproduced well, and we did it with a feel and a passion. It pays back when you see the crowd enjoying it. Original comps is what I want to do next. There's already a song I've written, its waiting for a music team to do the rest. Guess I'll have to wait for a college again. IIMA maybe! :P
Music, or rather, playing good music, has been my love since last 5 years. I don't need liquor to get high, just some good music! I still remember how in first year, I saw a few batchmates playing a guitar, and how when I held her in my arms for the first time, I knew that she is the one, the one who'll make me sing what she wants, the one whose voice will seduce me completely into her curves. I knew I wanted to know her in and out, I know I wanted her for the rest of my life, and I was desperate. I surfed the net for all the rules of making the most of her presence, and although I am nowhere close to the GODS, I am happy that deal with her well enough, and make her realise her beauty. She knows it, and she doesnt disappoint me ever. And and and, I look good with her. :)
"Till death do us apart."
The spark this time was Bandeh by Indian Ocean. I am writing this blog in a train, I have my headphones on, the song is being played repeatedly in Winamp, and my hands are alternating between guitar chords, bass movements, psuedo drumming and typing this blog out. And I realise that I'm getting weird looks from people around me :D
This song is a masterpiece. The best Indian Ocean has done yet, although I'd like to believe that their best isn't out yet. Sushmit's guitar riff has that rock feel to it, unlike his other traditional Indian-folk-ish riffs. The electric overdriven guitar is a supplement to the rock feel. Ram's bass use, as any other Indian ocean song, is mindblowing. Don't know how he manages vocals with the sexy bassline (reminds me of Knopfler). And although Amit hasn't used his signature unconventional, wierdo-cyclic drumbeats as he has done with Maa Reva or Bhor, he has complemented well with subtle-yet-amazing rolls. The way he uses crashes and the impact it creates is superb. And Asheem's Alaap! My god, these guys are some team!
Okay, coming to the non-technical part, the song is an APT-FIT for Black Friday. I soo wished that the song was used somewhere in the movie instead of the Title. This song is one which takes u to a different world. It has the kick. For those who haven't heard Indian Ocean, I would strongly recommend to atleast give an ear to Bandeh, Maa Reva, Kandissa, Bhor, Jhini, Hille le. Or even better, attend a concert! They play pretty often. And, if you know of IO concerts in your city, please inform me. I have attended one, and seems its not enough :)
For the last few days, I'm back into a retro. My playlist consists of the songs We've played as a band in the past. Maa Rewa/Bandeh/Dhoom/Maeri/But it rained/Mama Said/Fade to Black/Nothing else matters/Like a stone/Show me how to live/Day tripper/Zombie/I'm with you/Complicated/Losing my religion/Rape Me/Polly/Love Buzz/When did you sleep last night/Sultans of Swing/Jeremy/Even Flow/Black/Last Kiss/Stairway to Heaven/Californication/Killing in the name of/Times like these/Creep/About a girl/I am mine/Road tripping.... the list goes on!
Why does life always try to drag itself back to the past?? Now... playing these songs, I miss college, I miss my band, and I miss the SAC music room at IITB where we've spent sleepless nights to perfect songs. Although we never tried original compositions, but I'd say that we reproduced well, and we did it with a feel and a passion. It pays back when you see the crowd enjoying it. Original comps is what I want to do next. There's already a song I've written, its waiting for a music team to do the rest. Guess I'll have to wait for a college again. IIMA maybe! :P
Music, or rather, playing good music, has been my love since last 5 years. I don't need liquor to get high, just some good music! I still remember how in first year, I saw a few batchmates playing a guitar, and how when I held her in my arms for the first time, I knew that she is the one, the one who'll make me sing what she wants, the one whose voice will seduce me completely into her curves. I knew I wanted to know her in and out, I know I wanted her for the rest of my life, and I was desperate. I surfed the net for all the rules of making the most of her presence, and although I am nowhere close to the GODS, I am happy that deal with her well enough, and make her realise her beauty. She knows it, and she doesnt disappoint me ever. And and and, I look good with her. :)
"Till death do us apart."
Thursday, June 14, 2007
The Reunion
Few of us: Jedi, Carlee, Sandy, Ruchika, Baner, Hari, me, Walia, Shailesh and magloo at DublinSeventeen colleagues, six seniors @ Hotel Chola Sheraton, Chennai. This was an event I was looking forward to, for a long time. I was told by the senior batch that they had a reunion sometime in April last year, where all of them who joined ITC-PSPD/PPD, working in the "middle-of-nowhere"s met once again. And so in July 06, when sigma17 (that's what our group has been named by His Highness :P) were departing to their individual assignments across the country, we bid goodbyes with hopes of a reunion on similar lines.
And it happened! Somewhere in the middle of May, after a lot of pestering by Carlos (thank u carlee), we get a directive from His Highness that we should be planning a reunion. Though it was an official program where we were supposed to be discussing our work over the past one year and challenges faced by our businesses, I can say that we all were excited with the idea of catching up with each other after long! With a lot of deliberation over dates (for availability of all 23 concerned), amidst discussions over what's the agenda going to be, the after-hour plans and all such things, we finally got geared for the affaire-de-grand on June 10-11.
The reunion was as memorable as a reunion is supposed to be. Though work @ ITC involves a lot of travel, the group was still large enough to have been able to meet everyone through the last year. Infact I am one of those who have travelled a lot with ITC, and yet, out of the seventeen of us, there were 3 whom I hadn't met since induction. And when we all met on Saturday evening over a cack session at one of the suites in Chola, I just remembered the saying "When you meet someone after long, you realise that some things, good or bad, don't change" :-) And the group was just the same when we left! Same decibel level, same arguments, same leg pulling, same bakras and bakris :P, the non-stop ruchika and ruchi, the neta nilay, the funda-guru carlee, the sober jhaji, my dessert-partner tashi, the krrish-o-maniac hari, the ever-blissful lavs, the nawab yash, the sutta-lover-cum-teacher sandy, the happy dudes walia and shailu, the roti-breaker magloo, the PJ-god Banner, and last but not the least Professor Piran. We missed u Mankame, though I'm sure that even you haven't changed: your obsession with incense sticks hasn't faded away with the holy-smoke!
Some of the most memorable moments over the two days:
- Sat night session at Chola: "What are we going to do for the next two days? We have to plan the session". Intense discussion, agenda being jotted down, and there Baner makes a Heroic entry straight from Delhi! Loud roar, hugs, jokes, and session dropped from the discussion into a Daaru party!
- His Highness's "sack-them-all" act - enacting a butcher with a knife!
- DUBLIN! The Disc at Park Sheraton. We all had our sunday evening bash there! Great music, all exotic booze and the floor! A few pretty females! And not to mention the two brave members of sigma17 (one of them engaged!) who made a sweep on one of the females.
- Seeing a bald-guy dance at Dublin and realising that it was Sanath Jaisuriya :-)
- The look on the faces of those-few who saw the bill at Dublin: "Jo chadhi thi sab utar gayi yaar"!
- The morning after: "Yesshhh, we will begin the shesshion at 9:00 tomorrow, pakkaaa", say the drunkards! They end up at 10:30!
- Walia's "Bhookh lagi" act at 2:30 midnight in Nilay's room, where he is totally besotted, and pleading us for getting some food ordered: "Kuch to khila do, main bhookha hoon. Maine kuch nahin khaaya, sirf daaru pi!"
A lot many more! Here and there! Secrets unveiled. Crushes discovered. Work problems shared. Cribs and more cribs. Fighting over who's in a deeper shit. Arguing who's boss is more khadus. Sigma17, and Sigma23 rocks!
Working together brings an altogether different kind of bonding. We are all working for a purpose. Even though at times it all seems aimless, But I would like to believe that we are all contributing to the bottomline. We have a common goal, and a common culture to share and crib about. We come from similar educational backgrounds, have similar (and yet eerily innovative) way of looking at things, and we all face the same problems while bringing change in the organisation. We all face the "kids-with-fat-package" glances at our respective sites, and yet we all work our way through. We have seen the company together, in a two-month long induction, where we, in a huge group of seventeen, have managed to put our ideas together, agreed to disagree, and yet present proposals on a consensus. And here, working as colleagues, we have made friends, which stay, irrespective of everything else. The reunion just reinforced it!
Cheers to Sigma17, Cheers to ITC!
PS: I realised that we didn't click a single group photograph! Given the fact that we all have been given digicams by the company, some at the top management are really going to be ashamed of us! ;-)
My answer to that would be as filmy as His Highness: "Jo tasveer dil mein hai, uski kaagaz par kya ahemiyat!" :-)
Monday, June 04, 2007
Eleven Minutes
Yeah precisely, its the novel by Paulo Coelho I'm talking about. I just finished reading it yesterday (I actually have been budgeting reading it, to have something to do for solitary days). Its a story of a girl from Brazil, named Maria, who comes to Europe chasing her dreams. Though she ends up being a prostitute, she leads life the way she loves it. Its a tale of her self-discovery.
Although the book makes a nice story, its the way Paulo Coelho writes that leaves me mesmerised. Simple, subtle, yet beautiful lines. And the most beautiful part of them have been Maria's diaries. Here's a collection of excerpts from the book, that I loved the most:
- "Anyone who has lost something they thought was theirs forever finally comes to realise that nothing really belongs to them. And if nothing belongs to me, then there's no point wasting time looking after things that aren't mine; its best to live as if today was the first (or last) day of my life."
- "I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's all a question of how I view my life."
- "Some people were born to face life alone, and this is neither good or bad, its simply life."
- "But life was teaching her - very fast - that only the strong survive. To be strong, she must be the best, there's no alternative".
- "I'm not a body with a soul, I'm a soul that has a visible part called body."
- "A man doesn't prove he's a man by getting an erection. He's only a real man if he can pleasure a woman. And if he can pleasure a prostitue, he'll think he's the best lover on the block."
- "... but there's always one woman who frightens them (men) and forces them to submit to her caprices." (Maria, wondering how all her clients seem to be 'afraid')
- "Eleven minutes. The world revolved around something that only took eleven minutes." (The accompanying para is amazing, its too long to type though)
- "Human beings can withstand a week without water, two weeks without food, many years of homelessness, but not loneliness. Its the worst of all tortures, the worst of all sufferings."
- "That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it."
- "Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with."
- "Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path."
- "Each day I choose the truth which I try to live. I try to be practical, efficient, professional. But I would like to be able always to choose desire as my companion. Not out of obligation, not to lessen my loneliness, but because its good. Very good."
- "If you want to achieve your objectives, you have to be prepared for a daily dose of pain or discomfort. At first, its unpleasant and demotivating, but in time you come to realise that it's a part of the process of feeling good, and the moment arrives when, if you don't feel pain, you have a sense that exercises aren't having the desired effect." (As true as it can be, this is the hardest thing!)
- "Oh, so you want to think that, do you? All right then, do what you like, while I get on with more important things." (Maria, to herself, when her heart complained about the absence of her love)
- "The art of sex is the art of controlled abandon."
- "..., it's (pain) a very powerful drug. Its in our daily lives, in our hidden suffering, in the sacrifices we make, blaming love for the destruction of our dreams. Pain is frightening when it shows its real face, but its seductive when it comes disguised as sacrifice or self denial. Or cowardice. However much we may reject it , we human beings always find a way of being with pain, or flirting with it and making it a part of our lives." (These lines are POWERFUL, and makes me rethink of certain decisions I took in life ;-) )
- "Pain and suffering are used to justify the one thing that brings only joy: love."
- "No one around me is happy; the clients know that they are paying for something that should be free, and thats depressing. The women know that they have to sell something which they would like to give out of pleasure and affection, and that is destructive." (Maria, in a diary entry).
- "Life is too short, or too long, to allow myself the luxury of living it so badly." (The same diary entry)
- "In all languages in the world, there's the same proverb: "What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't grieve over". Well, I say there isn't an ounce of truth in it. The further off they are, the closer to the heart are all those feelings we try to repress and forget. If we are in exile, we want to store away every tiny memory of our roots. If we're far from the person we love, everyone we pass in the street reminds us of them." (Maria, quoting a priest in her diary).
- "Its odd how, when you live in a city, you always postpone getting to know it and usually end up never knowing it at all."
Very well written, and grasping. Must read!
Although the book makes a nice story, its the way Paulo Coelho writes that leaves me mesmerised. Simple, subtle, yet beautiful lines. And the most beautiful part of them have been Maria's diaries. Here's a collection of excerpts from the book, that I loved the most:
- "Anyone who has lost something they thought was theirs forever finally comes to realise that nothing really belongs to them. And if nothing belongs to me, then there's no point wasting time looking after things that aren't mine; its best to live as if today was the first (or last) day of my life."
- "I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's all a question of how I view my life."
- "Some people were born to face life alone, and this is neither good or bad, its simply life."
- "But life was teaching her - very fast - that only the strong survive. To be strong, she must be the best, there's no alternative".
- "I'm not a body with a soul, I'm a soul that has a visible part called body."
- "A man doesn't prove he's a man by getting an erection. He's only a real man if he can pleasure a woman. And if he can pleasure a prostitue, he'll think he's the best lover on the block."
- "... but there's always one woman who frightens them (men) and forces them to submit to her caprices." (Maria, wondering how all her clients seem to be 'afraid')
- "Eleven minutes. The world revolved around something that only took eleven minutes." (The accompanying para is amazing, its too long to type though)
- "Human beings can withstand a week without water, two weeks without food, many years of homelessness, but not loneliness. Its the worst of all tortures, the worst of all sufferings."
- "That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it."
- "Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with."
- "Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path."
- "Each day I choose the truth which I try to live. I try to be practical, efficient, professional. But I would like to be able always to choose desire as my companion. Not out of obligation, not to lessen my loneliness, but because its good. Very good."
- "If you want to achieve your objectives, you have to be prepared for a daily dose of pain or discomfort. At first, its unpleasant and demotivating, but in time you come to realise that it's a part of the process of feeling good, and the moment arrives when, if you don't feel pain, you have a sense that exercises aren't having the desired effect." (As true as it can be, this is the hardest thing!)
- "Oh, so you want to think that, do you? All right then, do what you like, while I get on with more important things." (Maria, to herself, when her heart complained about the absence of her love)
- "The art of sex is the art of controlled abandon."
- "..., it's (pain) a very powerful drug. Its in our daily lives, in our hidden suffering, in the sacrifices we make, blaming love for the destruction of our dreams. Pain is frightening when it shows its real face, but its seductive when it comes disguised as sacrifice or self denial. Or cowardice. However much we may reject it , we human beings always find a way of being with pain, or flirting with it and making it a part of our lives." (These lines are POWERFUL, and makes me rethink of certain decisions I took in life ;-) )
- "Pain and suffering are used to justify the one thing that brings only joy: love."
- "No one around me is happy; the clients know that they are paying for something that should be free, and thats depressing. The women know that they have to sell something which they would like to give out of pleasure and affection, and that is destructive." (Maria, in a diary entry).
- "Life is too short, or too long, to allow myself the luxury of living it so badly." (The same diary entry)
- "In all languages in the world, there's the same proverb: "What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't grieve over". Well, I say there isn't an ounce of truth in it. The further off they are, the closer to the heart are all those feelings we try to repress and forget. If we are in exile, we want to store away every tiny memory of our roots. If we're far from the person we love, everyone we pass in the street reminds us of them." (Maria, quoting a priest in her diary).
- "Its odd how, when you live in a city, you always postpone getting to know it and usually end up never knowing it at all."
Very well written, and grasping. Must read!
Monday, May 28, 2007
Inspired
"However, more than Chaos, I fell in love with IIMA second time over. IIMA, hold your arms wide open, because if you look hard enough, you can see me coming. You should be grateful for this you know, it is not often that I so long for something. Consider yourself honored."
A paragraph, which I stumbled upon yesterday, while just browsing through Giddu's previous posts. (http://mirroredmind.blogspot.com/2006_01_01_archive.html)
Some stories, and some blogs, are way too inspiring! :-)
- Giddu's blog dated 30th Jan 2006, more than a year before he got thru IIMA.
A paragraph, which I stumbled upon yesterday, while just browsing through Giddu's previous posts. (http://mirroredmind.blogspot.com/2006_01_01_archive.html)
Some stories, and some blogs, are way too inspiring! :-)
Thursday, May 24, 2007
That 20s Show
I feel midlife crisis is hitting a little too early :D
March 2000, Bhopal:
I finish with my 10th board exams, they went well. Thus, life is quite cool. Achievements is what I live for. I have friends, and they are the people I hang out with.
July 2002, Mumbai:
This is the first time I'm moving out of home. New place, new people. I miss my school friends. College is starting. I wonder how its gonna be like. But IITB is a cool place! And even before I came here, I knew I liked Mumbai.
April 2006, Mumbai:
Valfi (farewell) just got over. Never realised I would get such great friends amongst these people. I realise I have changed as a person. I've become more interactive, more social, more emotional. I guess thats what 4 years of hostel life, living with 200-odd people, does that to you. I am gonna miss them.
June 2006, Kolkata:
Wow, so that's what ITC is like! A 20-day induction in the "Best Business Hotel of the country" - ITC Sonar Bangla! Finally, I enter the real world. These CEOs and business heads, who share their experiences at the podium, were sitting on this side, a few years back. A great, challenging, stimulating experience awaits! And, I see a few cute girls as colleagues too :-)
May 2007, Bhadrachalam:
LIFE SUCKS! :-( :-( :-(
I live in a village! My project is over and I'm on a piecemeal job right now. I've been told that I'd be allotted a profile very soon, but that "soon" seems to be taking quite sometime now... yes,two months have passed. I live 24 hours away from home, so I can't even run-away to home on weekends... Anyway, I just get a 1-day weekend. And Bhadra is like 8 hours from the nearest civilization, which happens to be Hyderabad, a place still quite alien to me.
For good or for bad, I see quite a few changes in myself.
1. My patience levels seem to be growing at a never ending pace. To every problem, I have an answer: "This too shall pass...".
2. I am learning how to become a loner in life. (Its quite ironic that companies on campus recruitments look for social involvement, teamwork, etc etc., where I see that actually, we end up as loners for most of our times!).
3. Best of my friends are out of the country, I don't get to talk to them as often. With others those who are in India, I never miss an opportunity to go and visit them! While I say life's made me patient, it's also made me repellent to things I don't like. I HATE spending an extended weekend at Bhadra, and at any cost (the high airfares :P), I NEED to make a detour.
4. I get desparate for human company! All I'm living is over phone, yahoo messenger and orkut. I need to be with real people now! I can now initiate conversations with strangers at much ease and feel friends with them!
5. I have started reading! Novels, that I hated to touch, are becoming my friends.
6. I am amazed at how mundane things have become a source of excitement for me: sunday chatwaala, evening party with 50 yr olds, watching two lizards mate, running away from crazy monkeys (I dont mean staff, the real monkeys :P), squatting frogs, fighting with autowallas, laughing over grammatical differences between Hindi and Telugu, etc etc. These things are becoming high-points in life!
I used to think that maybe something is inherently wrong with me that I have phases of frustration which never seem to end. However, one fine day, I was speaking to an old friend, and we happened to talk about how being alone changes us, and to my surprise she echoed the same things! Whilst it was good to know that I was normal, I just happened to wonder if its an early onset of midlife crisis, or is it a little different phase which has been lately termed as the Quarterlife crisis (I discovered this on Wikipedia, makes an interesting read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis).
Many of us might be going through similar ups and downs. But we don't discuss. At most cases I thought: "he/she won't understand, it can't be that bad for them". At the best, we keep discussions to "Working life sucks re, college was much better". And I realised that not discussing has made me lose on personal fronts. My friends feel that I've changed, Yes I have, but maybe if I'd have talked out about the situations that I land up in, they would have understood the behavioural changes.
To those who are getting out of college, and especially those who are starting to work, this might happen to you. You come out with all enthusiasm, and then bogged down by the real world. You feel you can do better than this, but somehow you are not able to. You feel your degree/department is of no help, this was something you could do without it. (Reminds me discussing with a colleague few days back: "Yaar factory mein ye sab TPM, Supply Chain, OEE, OTIF ki baatein karte hain. Ye sab humne IIT mein kabhi nahin padha. Wahaan class mein chal kya raha tha yaar?" :D) The insecurity about how future is going to be further adds to the mess. And then it hits you: "Kya kiya life mein abhi tak? Aur aage kya karenge?". Plus there are changes. The place changes, people around you change, the whole mode/style of interaction with people changes. And we as humans, do not like to change. We like the status quo. Bonds that we make in college get hard to give up, and equally hard is to form new bonds. This makes us want to be with the same people we are used to. This pulls me back to Mumbai, the place I am in love with, the place where I have my college, and my friends.
At 22, I feel old at times. Too mature to bother about all this at this age. Thats why I feel it as the early onset of a midlife crisis. I wish to go back to how I was at 18, with all the enthu still bubbling, with the same fire in the belly, emotionally stronger, caring about achievements.. and freaking out with friends!
Twisting the famous Bryan Adam song a little: "I wanna be 18 till I die... 18 till I die!"
March 2000, Bhopal:
I finish with my 10th board exams, they went well. Thus, life is quite cool. Achievements is what I live for. I have friends, and they are the people I hang out with.
July 2002, Mumbai:
This is the first time I'm moving out of home. New place, new people. I miss my school friends. College is starting. I wonder how its gonna be like. But IITB is a cool place! And even before I came here, I knew I liked Mumbai.
April 2006, Mumbai:
Valfi (farewell) just got over. Never realised I would get such great friends amongst these people. I realise I have changed as a person. I've become more interactive, more social, more emotional. I guess thats what 4 years of hostel life, living with 200-odd people, does that to you. I am gonna miss them.
June 2006, Kolkata:
Wow, so that's what ITC is like! A 20-day induction in the "Best Business Hotel of the country" - ITC Sonar Bangla! Finally, I enter the real world. These CEOs and business heads, who share their experiences at the podium, were sitting on this side, a few years back. A great, challenging, stimulating experience awaits! And, I see a few cute girls as colleagues too :-)
May 2007, Bhadrachalam:
LIFE SUCKS! :-( :-( :-(
I live in a village! My project is over and I'm on a piecemeal job right now. I've been told that I'd be allotted a profile very soon, but that "soon" seems to be taking quite sometime now... yes,two months have passed. I live 24 hours away from home, so I can't even run-away to home on weekends... Anyway, I just get a 1-day weekend. And Bhadra is like 8 hours from the nearest civilization, which happens to be Hyderabad, a place still quite alien to me.
For good or for bad, I see quite a few changes in myself.
1. My patience levels seem to be growing at a never ending pace. To every problem, I have an answer: "This too shall pass...".
2. I am learning how to become a loner in life. (Its quite ironic that companies on campus recruitments look for social involvement, teamwork, etc etc., where I see that actually, we end up as loners for most of our times!).
3. Best of my friends are out of the country, I don't get to talk to them as often. With others those who are in India, I never miss an opportunity to go and visit them! While I say life's made me patient, it's also made me repellent to things I don't like. I HATE spending an extended weekend at Bhadra, and at any cost (the high airfares :P), I NEED to make a detour.
4. I get desparate for human company! All I'm living is over phone, yahoo messenger and orkut. I need to be with real people now! I can now initiate conversations with strangers at much ease and feel friends with them!
5. I have started reading! Novels, that I hated to touch, are becoming my friends.
6. I am amazed at how mundane things have become a source of excitement for me: sunday chatwaala, evening party with 50 yr olds, watching two lizards mate, running away from crazy monkeys (I dont mean staff, the real monkeys :P), squatting frogs, fighting with autowallas, laughing over grammatical differences between Hindi and Telugu, etc etc. These things are becoming high-points in life!
I used to think that maybe something is inherently wrong with me that I have phases of frustration which never seem to end. However, one fine day, I was speaking to an old friend, and we happened to talk about how being alone changes us, and to my surprise she echoed the same things! Whilst it was good to know that I was normal, I just happened to wonder if its an early onset of midlife crisis, or is it a little different phase which has been lately termed as the Quarterlife crisis (I discovered this on Wikipedia, makes an interesting read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis).
Many of us might be going through similar ups and downs. But we don't discuss. At most cases I thought: "he/she won't understand, it can't be that bad for them". At the best, we keep discussions to "Working life sucks re, college was much better". And I realised that not discussing has made me lose on personal fronts. My friends feel that I've changed, Yes I have, but maybe if I'd have talked out about the situations that I land up in, they would have understood the behavioural changes.
To those who are getting out of college, and especially those who are starting to work, this might happen to you. You come out with all enthusiasm, and then bogged down by the real world. You feel you can do better than this, but somehow you are not able to. You feel your degree/department is of no help, this was something you could do without it. (Reminds me discussing with a colleague few days back: "Yaar factory mein ye sab TPM, Supply Chain, OEE, OTIF ki baatein karte hain. Ye sab humne IIT mein kabhi nahin padha. Wahaan class mein chal kya raha tha yaar?" :D) The insecurity about how future is going to be further adds to the mess. And then it hits you: "Kya kiya life mein abhi tak? Aur aage kya karenge?". Plus there are changes. The place changes, people around you change, the whole mode/style of interaction with people changes. And we as humans, do not like to change. We like the status quo. Bonds that we make in college get hard to give up, and equally hard is to form new bonds. This makes us want to be with the same people we are used to. This pulls me back to Mumbai, the place I am in love with, the place where I have my college, and my friends.
At 22, I feel old at times. Too mature to bother about all this at this age. Thats why I feel it as the early onset of a midlife crisis. I wish to go back to how I was at 18, with all the enthu still bubbling, with the same fire in the belly, emotionally stronger, caring about achievements.. and freaking out with friends!
Twisting the famous Bryan Adam song a little: "I wanna be 18 till I die... 18 till I die!"
Friday, May 18, 2007
Blogstop - Breaking Free
I got a comment today: "Mayank, what about your blog? Enthu down?". I wonder, do I want to write about what I'm feeling? or, can I?
I have been pondering over this for a while now. I've asked quite a few of my friends, "Why don't you write blogs?". There are two most common answers:
1. Blogs are written by those who have endless time in life.
2. I can't let my thoughts be exposed in public
"Endless time" being a relative term, I won't dwell too much into it. What interests me is the second answer.
Contradictory needs. The need to express yourself, the need to be heard, and yet, not to be judged, srutinized, probed and exposed. I guess at some level, and some point of time, this is what we all feel. The feeling of, "Oh I need to talk about this to someone" versus "should I?". A common trait, which quickly converts into frustration/lows. And we prefer being quiet.
Why do we get so defensive while expressing ourselves? Why can't we break free of the fear of being judged? Does it really matter? And what about, "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."? Or is it that something else that makes me/us not write about stuff that's close and personal?
Furthermore, I wonder where is the vent then. People write blogs so that they can express themselves. And places where they really need to express and "let it out" is where they bury deep down. I wonder when would I be able to openly write what I think, and not use aliases/similar stories/spoofs/downplays/euphemisms.
As a (good) first step towards breaking free, I am listing down things I want to write about, but I'm not writing. Alongwith it are reasons why I think I'm not writing about them:
1. Work culture in my company - maybe coz I wonder some employee/my boss is reading it
2. Why did I make those choices in life? - maybe I dont wanna look like a fool! My friends at ITC would echo this :P
3. My failed love life - maybe coz I don't want others to judge her
4. Loneliness @ Bhadra - maybe coz it always feels empty :D, coz no matter how much I express it, its not gonna help.
5. Need for human company/companionship - maybe coz I don't wanna sound desperate :P
6. Run-away from Bhadra - I wonder why I haven't written yet.... or maybe, reasons same as stated in 1.
Adieu, with hopes that one day, I would break free.
PS: Thanks Akanksha, discussion with you finally led to a blog :-)
I have been pondering over this for a while now. I've asked quite a few of my friends, "Why don't you write blogs?". There are two most common answers:
1. Blogs are written by those who have endless time in life.
2. I can't let my thoughts be exposed in public
"Endless time" being a relative term, I won't dwell too much into it. What interests me is the second answer.
Contradictory needs. The need to express yourself, the need to be heard, and yet, not to be judged, srutinized, probed and exposed. I guess at some level, and some point of time, this is what we all feel. The feeling of, "Oh I need to talk about this to someone" versus "should I?". A common trait, which quickly converts into frustration/lows. And we prefer being quiet.
Why do we get so defensive while expressing ourselves? Why can't we break free of the fear of being judged? Does it really matter? And what about, "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."? Or is it that something else that makes me/us not write about stuff that's close and personal?
Furthermore, I wonder where is the vent then. People write blogs so that they can express themselves. And places where they really need to express and "let it out" is where they bury deep down. I wonder when would I be able to openly write what I think, and not use aliases/similar stories/spoofs/downplays/euphemisms.
As a (good) first step towards breaking free, I am listing down things I want to write about, but I'm not writing. Alongwith it are reasons why I think I'm not writing about them:
1. Work culture in my company - maybe coz I wonder some employee/my boss is reading it
2. Why did I make those choices in life? - maybe I dont wanna look like a fool! My friends at ITC would echo this :P
3. My failed love life - maybe coz I don't want others to judge her
4. Loneliness @ Bhadra - maybe coz it always feels empty :D, coz no matter how much I express it, its not gonna help.
5. Need for human company/companionship - maybe coz I don't wanna sound desperate :P
6. Run-away from Bhadra - I wonder why I haven't written yet.... or maybe, reasons same as stated in 1.
Adieu, with hopes that one day, I would break free.
PS: Thanks Akanksha, discussion with you finally led to a blog :-)
Monday, May 14, 2007
Celebrating success!
This one's for Giddu's triumph! :-)
Few weeks back, when I heard the IIM results were announced, I immediately dialled Giddu who was awaiting his IIMA call.
Mayank: Oye, kya raha?
Giddu: Waitlist 27 at IIMA
Mayank: Oh, missed! Any chances?
Giddu: Scope hota hai, who leaves an IIMA admit! DITCH! (you can always catch giddu with his end-the-topic plea: "DITCH")
Mayank: Arre koi nahin yaar, GM hai tere paas, Gujju land mein Gujju babes ke saath aish karega tu!
Who knew that Gujju land and Gujju babes are waiting for him... but not at Baroda, right at IIMA! :-)
I always had a knack that he'd make it, he has the right aptitude... except for his grades he was a perfect IIM material :-) Seems that even they weren't displaced enough to stop him from being there.
I have known him for almost sixteen years now! And I'm lucky I have him as my friend. Of all ups and downs he's the only constant in my life. Talks with him are a bouquet: from pure crap to tech jargon to school-n-college gossip to girls to life-sucks to sentiyaapa... it can't be better! And I can't be happier!
Congrats Giddu! We love you! Rule IIMA! (and don't leave a comment saying: "Mayank, THAT was gay!") :-)
Few weeks back, when I heard the IIM results were announced, I immediately dialled Giddu who was awaiting his IIMA call.
Mayank: Oye, kya raha?
Giddu: Waitlist 27 at IIMA
Mayank: Oh, missed! Any chances?
Giddu: Scope hota hai, who leaves an IIMA admit! DITCH! (you can always catch giddu with his end-the-topic plea: "DITCH")
Mayank: Arre koi nahin yaar, GM hai tere paas, Gujju land mein Gujju babes ke saath aish karega tu!
Who knew that Gujju land and Gujju babes are waiting for him... but not at Baroda, right at IIMA! :-)
I always had a knack that he'd make it, he has the right aptitude... except for his grades he was a perfect IIM material :-) Seems that even they weren't displaced enough to stop him from being there.
I have known him for almost sixteen years now! And I'm lucky I have him as my friend. Of all ups and downs he's the only constant in my life. Talks with him are a bouquet: from pure crap to tech jargon to school-n-college gossip to girls to life-sucks to sentiyaapa... it can't be better! And I can't be happier!
Congrats Giddu! We love you! Rule IIMA! (and don't leave a comment saying: "Mayank, THAT was gay!") :-)
Sunday, May 13, 2007
My first blog :-)
Ok... So finally I enter the blogging world! Idle Sunday evening at Bhadra, hot summers, a non-existent workload, a finished-novel, and absence of my colleagues has left me bored... and then hit the rhetoric: "What next in life?". Conflicts and contradictions surround me, and then I remember an old friend's advice: "Pen down your thoughts, they would become more clear". I guess its the right time to start blogging :-)
I type out www.blogspot.com, and hunt for an account. A strong believer of one-person-one-identity-one-id (and hence in love with google's strategy of integration of services), I request for jhamayank.blogspot.com, and Blogspot tells me "Sorry, the above address is not avaliable". The first phrase in mind is "WTF, who the hell is that!". Opening the link, I found a page happily saying "STAY AT IITB", and a little note below it "has been wonderful". I realised I had a blog, and I still have NO IDEA of when I made it. The date said 30th April 2004, that would mean right in the middle of my 4th sememster end-sems. Somehow for me, exams have always been a workshop for innovative, crazy ideas and plans! (I can write a blog on it sometime later) . I was successful in recovering it using the "Forgot Password" thingie, and don't have to compromise with yet another ID to remember!
Anyways, the novel I finished was "How Opal Mehta Got Kissed Got Wild and Got a Life". A nice mix of humour, irony and portrayal of the Desi-life abroad. Its not uncommon to find people like Opal, her parents, the HBz, aunt Rekha... I look around and find quite a few matches in each category! I remember a genius-friend whose mother used to accompany him in each interview, each exam, used to carry his stuff around and have a mission plan for each event! Looked like he did all what his mom wanted, not what he did. Am not in touch with him anymore, but sure hope that he's grown up now!
Another song I recommend: "Main jahaan rahoon" by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and Krishna, from the movie Namaste London. The singer of "Lagi tumse man ki lagan" and "Jiya dhadak dhadak" has sung yet another masterpiece. Don't miss it! And Himesh has done a good job with the music of the movie. Himesbhai rocks! \m/
If you are still hanging on, and found it bearable, and have thoughts/opinions, do leave a comment! Hope to see ya next time!
I type out www.blogspot.com, and hunt for an account. A strong believer of one-person-one-identity-one-id (and hence in love with google's strategy of integration of services), I request for jhamayank.blogspot.com, and Blogspot tells me "Sorry, the above address is not avaliable". The first phrase in mind is "WTF, who the hell is that!". Opening the link, I found a page happily saying "STAY AT IITB", and a little note below it "has been wonderful". I realised I had a blog, and I still have NO IDEA of when I made it. The date said 30th April 2004, that would mean right in the middle of my 4th sememster end-sems. Somehow for me, exams have always been a workshop for innovative, crazy ideas and plans! (I can write a blog on it sometime later) . I was successful in recovering it using the "Forgot Password" thingie, and don't have to compromise with yet another ID to remember!
Anyways, the novel I finished was "How Opal Mehta Got Kissed Got Wild and Got a Life". A nice mix of humour, irony and portrayal of the Desi-life abroad. Its not uncommon to find people like Opal, her parents, the HBz, aunt Rekha... I look around and find quite a few matches in each category! I remember a genius-friend whose mother used to accompany him in each interview, each exam, used to carry his stuff around and have a mission plan for each event! Looked like he did all what his mom wanted, not what he did. Am not in touch with him anymore, but sure hope that he's grown up now!
Another song I recommend: "Main jahaan rahoon" by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and Krishna, from the movie Namaste London. The singer of "Lagi tumse man ki lagan" and "Jiya dhadak dhadak" has sung yet another masterpiece. Don't miss it! And Himesh has done a good job with the music of the movie. Himesbhai rocks! \m/
If you are still hanging on, and found it bearable, and have thoughts/opinions, do leave a comment! Hope to see ya next time!