The Big A

I hadn't felt this way for quite sometime now... not during the summer or recruitment interviews with ITC and P&G atleast, they were chill to the core... maybe the morning of JEE mains was perhaps the last time I felt the same. With all the butterflies in stomach, a light breakfast and my set of formals, I reach the IIFT arena where the battle with the Big A is to be held.

But somehow, all the nervousness takes a backseat when you see that everyone around is in a similar situation of uncertainity. Thats when one realises: "Sab moh maya hai" :P Anyways, straight to the point.

Groups of 8 go in for an essay writing stuff for 10 mins. The topic: "Undercover Journalism: Ethics and needs".. and I was thinking for a minute: Shit man, certainly not as easy as "Make cricket as India's national game" or "Dwindling sex ratio". But things got in control and I think I did a decent bit to it in the time given.

And then came the interviews! I was slotted number 3 in my panel. And when I saw the first two coming out, one asking for a glass of water when he came out, and the other, with his hand on his head, I knew that things are not gonna be very easy. Still, managed to enter with a calm smile. I found three Interviewers: I1, the one with the acads, I2, the one with Ops gyaan and I3, the GK guy (All IIMA interviews seemed to follow this pattern of the interview panel). So here it goes:

I1: So you've worked with ITC for an year...
M: Yes sir, 13 months
I1: And then you joined P&G... what was your profile like at P&G?
M: I am responsible for Engineering Support for a new business startup. I was...
I2 (interrupting): What is spare parts management?
M: We have a new imported line and the subject involves making sure that line has all the recommended spares and doesn't stop because of a lack of them.
I2:
So what factors do you incorporate in "managing" spare parts?
M: Basically it is the leadtime and consumption rate.
I2: Ok, then the problem is very simple. Buy 1000s of spares. Your job is not required!
M (slightly taken aback by the last line): No sir, I can't do that. If I buy 1000s of spares I'm unnecessarily blocking company's money!
I1: But P&G is a rich company, you see! Why would you bother about that?M: I have certain inventory targets to maintain. I can't cross them. There is a cost of blocking money!
I1: So what is the cost of blocking this money?

M: It.... is the prevailing bank rate.
I2: So suppose I give u a negative bank rate, would you buy more spares?
M (Puzzled): You mean, you would pay me for taking a loan?
I1: Yeah, happens you see, Oil prices go up and down, there is too much of money...
M: (What the hell? Who pays for taking a loan? How would all the maths work out?)
I2: So would you buy it?
M: (after 10 seconds) I will not buy it, coz I will have a space constraint.
I1 (to I2): See, now he's adding one more factor. He keeps on adding factors!!
I2: Ok I give you infinite space, will you buy spares?
I1: So now u have negative bank rate AND a lot of space!
M: I will still not buy it.
I1: Why?
M: Because if there are lots of spares, the tendency of the operator will be to just replace a spare if it goes wrong, without understanding why is it damaged. The team will never go into a root cause elimination mode, and we will suffer on excellence, and also on spares consumption!
I1: But why are you so worried about consumption! P&G is a rich company! (Smiles exchanged)

I2: Anyways, what did u do at ITC?
M: I was posted at Bhadrachalam in Paperboards division. I was involved...
I2 (interrupting, again!) What is this e-choupal ITC keeps talking about?
M: It is a business model where, by means of providing information access to farmers in villages, ITC brings to the farmer the prevailing mandi rate and ITC's rate, and the farmer can decide where to sell his goods to.
I2: So ITC is doing social service?
M: No, by eliminating the middlemen from the process, ITC is able to offer a better price to the farmer. ITC also gains in the process as it gets the produce cheaper than the mandi rate.
I2: But shouldn't ITC source from a central location like Kolkata and get a cheaper bulk rate?
M: It won't really help, as volumes are high and the business is fragmented. Moreover ITC would get individual better rates at each location, which when consolidated would be a better rate than any bulk vendor.
I2: But ITC is eliminating middlemen! So many people are losing their jobs! Is ITC doing good to the country??
M (Puzzled again... took some time to consolidate): No sir, middlemen are just exchanging hands, not adding any value per-say to the product. So ITC buys directly and the farmer community, which is much bigger than the middlemen, is benefited.
I2: So ITC is doing social service?
M: Its a business proposition, which is doubling up as a social image upliftment.
I2: But what business benefit, why does ITC need the produce?
M: For 2 reasons, 1. They are into exports business... and..."
I2 (interrupting, AGAIN): But thats not their core business
M: Yeah, but they need it for the 2nd reason, that is their biscuits.. they need a lot of wheat for that. And echoupal has been successful as far as wheat is concerned.
I2: So you are convinced that ITC is not doing a social service?
(I was thinking, I don't know why they keep going in circles!)
M: Its both, a business reason and a social benefit

I1: Ok, now I am gonna ask some chemical engineering (wicked smile) Whats your favourite topic in ChemEngg?
M (CHEM ENGG? DIdn't they have anything better to ask? I am so screwed!): Sir I was never great in any subject in chemengg.
I1: Still, one or two tht you like?
M: (I think I know a bit of heat transfer and stuff, thanks to the HVAC system at P&G): I've found Thermodynamics interesting, though again, poor with grades.
I1: Ok, what is adiabatic compression?
M: (Gases, he's asking me GASES? Why not AC? I don't remember one bit! Ok let me try, adiabatic=no heat exchange, compression=work done) Sir, it is a process in which the compression on Gas doesn't result in a heat exchange with the surroundings.
I1: Ok, so what happens when you compress it?
M: (THINK Mayank, THINK!) It... would.... mean that work will be done.... and... the energy would.. be .... given out.. as heat.
I1: So that happens in a normal compression...
M: (Oh, did I say ulta, yes I did! Royale!) Oh... yeah, that is the normal case :-)
I1: so what happens in adiabatic compression?
M: (THINK! What was the bloody law? Ya!! dQ=dU+PdV) So in an adiabatic compression, dQ=0, so the work done will increase the internal energy of the system (Feeling confident) :-)
I1: What is the limit where flow changes from Laminar to Turbulent?
M: It happens at a Reynold's number of 2000-3000.
I1: The movement on Mumbai-Pune expressway, would it be a Laminar flow or a turbulent flow?
M: Well, Re=d.v.p/mu, so we will have to model it as a fluid flow and assume some values... Like we can take d=50 m, v = 100 kmph, p=1 g/cm3, assuming water, and mu value of water.
I1: So what will it be?
M: (thinking...) Sir, I'd need a pen and paper to work this out
I1: You don't need to see it as a mathematical problem. Think of it as a concept.What would it be?
M: Sir, it would be turbulent, it is a fast flow, v is high, and d is also high.
I1: You are again applying the formula blindly. Think of it as a concept. Compare it with the traffic signal at Delhi roads.What is it?
M: It is slow and haphazard....
I1: So which of the two is more haphazard?
M:
Its the turbulent flow.
I1: So, what about the Highway?
M (why is he rubbing it in??): It would be laminar.
I1: Why?
M: Coz it will move in layers, smoothly, like a laminar flow.
I1 (finally looking with disdain): That was what I was looking for. You were blindly applying formulae before.
M: (Empty smile)

I3: Ok, so you have mentioned in your essay that Undercover journalism has become a fashion. Can you name something which people will recognise as a "fashion house"?
M: (Thinking) "Fashion" per say, the fashion houses can be Calvin Klein.... and... Ralph Lauren.
I3: Ok where do they belong to?
M: (Thinking smart) I think they are located in Paris... Paris is considered the fashion capital.
(BLUNDER! Both are American! Never realised I screwed up till I googled for them)

I3: Ok, have u heard of NAFTA?
(Fun begins here, I heard Naphtha)
M (Oh God! Chem Engg again): Sir, Naphtha... is... a.. Chemical Compound.
(Silence for a second, then a laughter, all three in unison)
I1: OK, thats not what he meant to ask, but now you've got yourself in REAL trouble!
I1: So, what is Naphtha's chemical composition?
M: mmmm.. Can't recall. It has a ring tht is wht I remember
I1: Does it have oxygen molecule?
M: (Blank) Can't recall (Who remembers after so many years!)
I2: What is Naphtha used for?
M: It... is used in the petrochemical industry.
I2: So it is used to make petrol?
M: No, it is used in PETROCHEMICAL industry.. chemicals made from petroleum products.
I2: What is made from Naphtha?
M: (Pause) Naphtha... is used... to make Benzene.... ya Benzene.
(Simple things like Naphthalene balls never cross the mind in the interview!)

I1, I2 and I3 look at each other... and then smile, and thank me. I come out, not being sure wether the smile was assuring or contemptful. But it surely wasn't one where you can feel confident about yourself. I guess that is what an A interview is about.